Zakk The Comedian?

I don't know why. But among all the people I've known, Jiaoman Zakk's brand of dark comedy is disturbingly entertaining. I wouldn't go as far as calling it funny as in TV funny, it's just that the stuff he discovers are truly unique.

As ambiguous as it gets, albeit all his chatter about being proper, serious, polite, doing the right thing, being a righteous brother, I've come to notice his demeanor is a plethora of totally, utterly dark comedy.

Firstly, his choice of music, is by far the most "jiao" in the universe, that is, compared to anyone I've ever known. Most of us are either loving the mainstream stuff on the radio, rock, metal, pop, classical, dance or whatever. He goes against the norm and listens to all kinda shit with weird sounds, stuff that don't make sense (to undiscerning ears like yours and mine) at first light, but infectious and grow to like it at a later stage.

If i were to describe Zakk using a song, it would definitely be the following;

1- Dj DSL - I L.o.v.e. you 2002

Listen to timeline 0.16 : "Hi". This is classic Zakk Muzak. Hell, even the spelling "Muzak" is from him.

Now over to some dark and really mental stuff. For this, i gotta confess, it's really abit too dark for my soul.

2- Air - How Does It Make You Feel

Makes me feel kinda mental. Hey Zakk, listen to timeline 4.34 : "Well, i really think you should quit smoking". Anyway, this Air album, "10,000 Hz Legend", the whole thing is just JIAO.

This is some wanker music. Righteous brother type. Listen to the high pitched rap n trap. Funny stuff eh?

3- Quasimoto - Bus Ride

On movies. I will be forever scarred by the movie. "Salo". Yes, it was Zakk that discovered Salo. I don't know i should curse Zakk for this or to admire his profound knowledge of the extreme. The full title to this movie is;

"Salo : 120 Days Of Sodom".

IMDB describes it as follows;

"Four fascist libertines round up 9 teenage boys and girls and subject them to 120 days of physical, mental and sexual torture"

Only Zakk is able to discover things like this.

So the question is : Is Zakk a COMEDIAN? Entertainer? Whatever it is, Zakk buddy, like Axl used to sing, you're ONE IN A MILLION. This one is for you brahh..

Guns N Roses - One In A Million

Princess Pimp-tress

Jeegolo....hahaha

Zaidi The Niggz

Malaysia

Malaysia will be celebrating its 50th birthday, 50 years of independence. 50 years of "kegemilangan". This is also the period of patriotism (definition; love for or devotion to one's country) where many "patriots" display their devotion to this country. We have these advertisements on tv, showing Malay, Chinese and Indian kids growing up together in the "kampung", sharing experiences, living in harmony. Petronas advertisements are the best in this sort of ads. Filled with emotionally moving and touching scenarios. See link below for the advert;

http://youtube.com/watch?v=VCXmpO-jfIo

Very nice ad right? I loved it. Kinda reminds me of my childhood days growing up in Rawang, where my friends were of different races. Same la, almost like the advert. At the time i was like like fuckin 10 or 11 years old. It was a wonderous feeling, to be able to have friends of different races. As i grew older, discrepancies started to creep its way to my way of thinking. It started off when one of the "cikgu" actually uttered the following.

" Kamu orang orang Cina, patut bersyukur kepada kerajaan kerana memberi kamu tempat duduk, ada yang jadi tauke. Kamu cuba lah, balik ke Thongsan, kamu ingat Thongsan nak kamu ke?"

" You Chinese people should be thankful to the government because we allow you to stay. Some of you are towkays. You try to return to China, you think they will accept you back?"

I cant recall what sparked that sentence. That was the first time ive heard that statement, but certainly not the last. When i moved down to KL (Primary 6), to a totally different location, from a kampong to city, i heard the same remark, almost identical uttered by yet another teacher. More and more "strange and weird" revelations;

"diskaun 7% untuk bumiputra".

As a curious punk, naturally i asked my parents, why 7% discount and who are these bumiputras?

"Aiya, this one all for the Malays la, they buy house, gahmen will give them discount wan"

And more "accusations" surfaced saying Malays are lazy, backward and stupid. At that time, i begged to differ cuz most of my Malay classmates werent lazy, stupid or backward. I fail to notice it because these Malay classmaes of mine are alright. They treated me as an equal, these's no discrimination towards non Malays. But i thought the Indians were kinda poor cuz they didnt have lotsa flashy stationary, new shoes but they were smart man. For myself, i didnt have flashy stationaries or clean shoes cuz i was from the kampung. I guess most guys behave that way. No doubt abt it, Indian kids are very good at sports and English.

Long story short, our education system is FUCKED from day 1. I dont know how different it is today, but back then, our stupid teachers were indirectly teaching segregation. All those talk about national unity, living harmoniously are flawed examples on a made believed fantasy.

Post SPM, Malays all talk about going to local universities. Chinese, all about private colleges, Indians, all wanna go TAFE to be lawyers. I wasnt very interested in high school, most of the time i was AWOL, skipping skool with my mates. Anyway, i didnt do that bad in SPM, still managed 1st grade, where loads of Malays we SAPs. These Malays, they got scholarships for vocational skools, UITM, MARA while all the Chinese had to go private. Only a handful of the smartest Chinese kids actually pursued form 6 to go public. At that time, it also sturck me as weird, why Malays with SAP and shittier results than myself, can receive scholarships while had to go look into private colleges and pay so much.

Then i found out about NEP.

Oh well....i guess non Malays need to take things in stride.

Ok, fair enough. But then i found out the real reasons behind the May 13 incident.

In the May 10, 1969 general elections, the ruling Alliance coalition headed by the United Malays National Organization (UMNO) suffered a large setback in the polls. The largely Chinese opposition Democratic Action Party and Gerakan gained in the elections, and secured a police permit for a victory parade through a fixed route in Kuala Lumpur. However, the rowdy procession deviated from its route and headed through the Malay district of Kampung Baru, jeering at the inhabitants. Some demonstrators carried brooms, later alleged to symbolise the sweeping out of the Malays from Kuala Lumpur, while others chanted slogans about the "sinking" of the Alliance boat — the coalition's logo.

While the Gerakan party issued an apology the next day, UMNO announced a counter-procession, which would start from the Selangor Chief Minister Harun bin Idris' home in Jalan Raja Muda. Tunku Abdul Rahman would later call the retaliatory parade "inevitable, as otherwise the party members would be demoralised after the show of strength by the Opposition and the insults that had been thrown at them."

Shortly before the procession began, the gathering crowd was reportedly informed that Malays on their way to the procession had been attacked by Chinese in Setapak, several miles to the north. The angry protestors swiftly wreaked revenge by killing two passing Chinese motorcyclists, and the riot began. During the course of the riots, the loudspeakers of mosques were used to urge the rioters to continue in their actions.
The riot ignited the capital Kuala Lumpur and the surrounding state of Selangor — according to Time, spreading throughout the city in 45 minutes.

source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/May_13_Incident

Alas, in the spirit of "Malaysia Boleh"...non Malays will have to "take things in stride" for;

Malay Problem : National Agenda
Chinese Problem : Race card
Indian Problem : What problem?

I copied the above from a site Jiaoman gave me....

Dont get me wrong, im not inciting hatred between the races. Indeed a sensitive issue (like Jeeg) but how long are we going to not talk about this while sweeping this under the rug classified "sensitive issue"? This incident is also the cause for the NEP to be prolonged.

Iam all in agreement to help the needy, distribute wealth and equality to all races. It seems to me our wealth, contributed by our taxes regardless of race, whether youre a Malay, Chinese, Indian, Singh, Gurkha, Expats, are being used to irrelevant matters. Sending idiots to space to eat roti canai and drink teh tarik? Using tax money to promote that "Sports Excellence Centre" in England and the flawed MRR2 highway structure, these are just the few examples on how the gahmen is wasting the wealth we contributed.

Head to to LYN RWI...there are lots of issues...not to mention MAS bailout, Proton and the monopoly of TM Nut.

Take things in stride?

Regardless of our race, the middleclass wage earners and the hardcore poor are being cornered and fucked over by the upper class elites (yes, these ppl are the Malays, Chinese and Indian too and you should know who they are) while our Parliment is littered with chauvinistic bastards and the uneducated. Just go youtube and search for Malaysia and you'll see.

So, regardless of your race, if you pay tax, you are one way or the other involved. I sure as hell will register myself to vote...for the opposition? For the coalition? We'll see...

Friends in High Places

Jee-go-loh aka Jeeg aka Sensi aka Death Row-Oh

Jeeg is well known amongst our social circle as a S.N.A.G. (Sensitive New Age Guy for those of you who are not in touch with your Cosmo side), little do people know, the secret double life he led... A life filled with violence and a string of gruesome murders.

Jeeg was recently busted for sexually assaulting the A&W Bear; but has since posted bail and has been spotted at the local Guardian store buying hair and dermatological products to keep his pretty boy image in check.

300 Directors Cut - watch out for the trailer to be released Summer 07'

Everyone loves Vince. This is an undeniable fact. We take you back in time, ermmm...2001? How it is that this bunch of ppl, particularly the ex-SMDU/DJ community, you know la, ppl like our famous Jiaoman, Y5o, K-Mon and the OH-SO-FAMOUS-ANUS NIGEL got to know this fella? The fact is, it all started with Nigel....Me, Vince and Ny were from the same college, the college for bo-headz. Studying what? Sound engineering!!! (wtf...) Of all the darn things in the world, we have ppl studting I.T, business, graphic arts, you know la, all those normal subjects were normal ppl like to do (finance? ugh...) but we have to study sound engineering. This is the story of how Vince has becometh of what he is today...

Vince, at first sight, i didnt thought much of this guy cuz all the attention was centered on a certain little punk with gelled up red hair, earings, drives a black EG. Who else but Nigel Khoo Kah-Ee. Nevertheless, everyone (well, at least i did) thought this Nigel looks alot like one of those characther from the Hongkie movie, Young and Dangerous. I sorta detested this little punk. I told myself "stay away from this fella, he looks danger mouse"...but that perspective quickly dissolved into nothingness when i bumped into him at the famous Backroom (hmmm...those times, crazy times, still think about it at times....) and by his sidekick, our very own Jiaoman with large earholes and equally "dangerous" looking attitude. Wise guys said it too much, "dont judge a book by its cover"..true, with the help of a couple of "pink ladies" we became instant friends. You know how it is right? Anyway, years later, me & Ny spoke about this, we admitted, we hated each others' guts before the "Backroom Agenda". Anyway...back at college, we became instant mates. How did Vince got into the picture? Cant recall, too much THC induced memory loss quoting Vince, but me and Ny developed a daily routine. We would come to class stoned, attending lectures religiously while hitting a joint during breaks to keep it going. One time we were even caught by one of the lecturers while i was passing an unlit joint to Ny at the stairs. An instant query ensued "is that a joint?"...what else could we say? Rule 101..deny...from that day onwards, the guy who caught us knew we were on BO. Did we receive any discrimination or got reported to the boss? No..infact, we got quite close to the guy. I recalled in on of his lectures, he was talking about the dangers of drugs in the music, on how one drug leads to another, from BO, you gradually graduate to other substance. Indirectly he was kinda advising us dont go overboard la...ok ok, back to the other side of the story...

Vince didnt liked BO. Me and Ny, constantly gone. Our profanity with munchies were so vulgar, we would eat and eat and eat until we cant eat no more. You know how it is when you hang out with the holder of the "KEY TO INSANITY". We would never fail to invite Vince to smoke up and with each invite, it will be met with a negative reply. "no lah, dowan la, i kena before, i dont like it, makes you slow la, look at you drug addicts...etc etc....bla bla bla bla...until one day...he relented. It didnt take him too long tho, but something happened to Vince (i shall not share it here) caused him to accept our invitation. I was living very nearby to the college, often times, we would go back to my place to have a couple of hits to recharge before goin back to college for assignments and what-not. That is when Vince got "devirginalized" by the "BATU API" and "KEY TO INSANITY"... from that day onwards, there was no stopping for Vince. Anyway, we smoked up, got all stoned, went back to college, i was having a studio session in the 8 track room, as usual la, you're gone, and you "try" to get some work done. There i was, infront of the console, with my guitar, "trying" to record something, and i was playing this one riff (i can still remember how it goes) and Vince just cant stop laughing his ass off. The more i play that riff, the HARDER his laughter...shit, i was laughing my head off too, not that i find my riff funny, but cuz it was fun making him laugh so hard that his tears were coming out. He continued laughing on other trivial stuff until i finally got somewhere attempting to record something...then...there was silence...he passed out on the floor in the studio. Next thing i knew, the BOSS was standing next to me, abruptly entered the studio and he casually asked "what happened to Melvin?" after seeing his pasaut on the floor. " Ohh, nothing la, he had an overnight session la. He is very tired and he was helping me...bla bla..."you know la, common excuse.

I was accused of bringing this calamity to Vince. From that day onwards, Vince would come to my house, we would roll a joint and smoke up while walking to skool. It has been a daily ritual. Ny will always be FOREVER LATE to class. You know him ler, master of procrastination...haha...but there were times when Ny would be early (after the skool made a policy, latecomers will be barred from entering lectures) and upon us making and entry to the classroom, we could fuckin clearly see those bloodshot eyes while he rests his head against the wall. Same case here, Ny knew we already "loaded" our guns with a smirk on our faces, that " u KENA already huh" kinda look...three of us sitting right up in front of the classroom stoned outta our heads while waiting for the lunch to go eat our favourite PORK NOODLES...in all due respect, we did our assignments well, faithfully taking notes. For me, it was really fun as i have this memory buffer in my head whenever im gone, so whatever spoken in class, i have the ability to replicate that in writing, albeit 3 seconds delay...but most of the time looking back at my notes, i have no idea wtf i wrote. Ny would go on and on writing nonsense and he got caught drawing something reflecting a these words, " I WOULD LIKE SOME MILK FROM THE MILKMAN'S WIFE'S TITS".

For those do not know Vince, he is a steady fella. Damn steady...tarak hal punya. Always looking for the phresh stuff. Once we got RM70 of the good ol' phresh mangga we graduated from J's to the B...homemade bong with a plastic bottle, pen and cigarette box aluminium paper molded into a cone. Vince would never fail to make the best cone all the time. He is good with his hands...the toolman. For more information on this creature, you can check out his blog here. Me? I just like to BO BO BO BO BO and pasaut. But none can challenge the master...Mr Vince aka Mengapa Harus Cinta...why the name Vince? Ask Jiaoman la, its his doing. Cuz there's always twosidestoastory to everything. You fellas have a great day, in the name of BO...we shall thrive and survive this daily rat race into oblivion. Fuck you no time...adios...