LAWRENCE OF MOC aka THE JIAOMAN

Zakk The Comedian?

2011-05-19T07:45:00.001-07:00

I don't know why. But among all the people I've known, Jiaoman Zakk's brand of dark comedy is disturbingly entertaining. I wouldn't go as far as calling it funny as in TV funny, it's just that the stuff he discovers are truly unique.

As ambiguous as it gets, albeit all his chatter about being proper, serious, polite, doing the right thing, being a righteous brother, I've come to notice his demeanor is a plethora of totally, utterly dark comedy.

Firstly, his choice of music, is by far the most "jiao" in the universe, that is, compared to anyone I've ever known. Most of us are either loving the mainstream stuff on the radio, rock, metal, pop, classical, dance or whatever. He goes against the norm and listens to all kinda shit with weird sounds, stuff that don't make sense (to undiscerning ears like yours and mine) at first light, but infectious and grow to like it at a later stage.

If i were to describe Zakk using a song, it would definitely be the following;

1- Dj DSL - I L.o.v.e. you 2002

Listen to timeline 0.16 : "Hi". This is classic Zakk Muzak. Hell, even the spelling "Muzak" is from him.

Now over to some dark and really mental stuff. For this, i gotta confess, it's really abit too dark for my soul.

2- Air - How Does It Make You Feel

Makes me feel kinda mental. Hey Zakk, listen to timeline 4.34 : "Well, i really think you should quit smoking". Anyway, this Air album, "10,000 Hz Legend", the whole thing is just JIAO.

This is some wanker music. Righteous brother type. Listen to the high pitched rap n trap. Funny stuff eh?

3- Quasimoto - Bus Ride

On movies. I will be forever scarred by the movie. "Salo". Yes, it was Zakk that discovered Salo. I don't know i should curse Zakk for this or to admire his profound knowledge of the extreme. The full title to this movie is;

"Salo : 120 Days Of Sodom".

IMDB describes it as follows;

"Four fascist libertines round up 9 teenage boys and girls and subject them to 120 days of physical, mental and sexual torture"

Only Zakk is able to discover things like this.

So the question is : Is Zakk a COMEDIAN? Entertainer? Whatever it is, Zakk buddy, like Axl used to sing, you're ONE IN A MILLION. This one is for you brahh..

Guns N Roses - One In A Million

Princess Pimp-tress

2007-10-08T00:12:00.000-07:00

Jeegolo....hahaha

2007-10-07T23:22:00.000-07:00

Zaidi The Niggz

2007-10-06T06:21:00.000-07:00

Malaysia

2007-06-27T18:43:00.000-07:00

Malaysia will be celebrating its 50th birthday, 50 years of independence. 50 years of "kegemilangan". This is also the period of patriotism (definition; love for or devotion to one's country) where many "patriots" display their devotion to this country. We have these advertisements on tv, showing Malay, Chinese and Indian kids growing up together in the "kampung", sharing experiences, living in harmony. Petronas advertisements are the best in this sort of ads. Filled with emotionally moving and touching scenarios. See link below for the advert;

http://youtube.com/watch?v=VCXmpO-jfIo

Very nice ad right? I loved it. Kinda reminds me of my childhood days growing up in Rawang, where my friends were of different races. Same la, almost like the advert. At the time i was like like fuckin 10 or 11 years old. It was a wonderous feeling, to be able to have friends of different races. As i grew older, discrepancies started to creep its way to my way of thinking. It started off when one of the "cikgu" actually uttered the following.

" Kamu orang orang Cina, patut bersyukur kepada kerajaan kerana memberi kamu tempat duduk, ada yang jadi tauke. Kamu cuba lah, balik ke Thongsan, kamu ingat Thongsan nak kamu ke?"

" You Chinese people should be thankful to the government because we allow you to stay. Some of you are towkays. You try to return to China, you think they will accept you back?"

I cant recall what sparked that sentence. That was the first time ive heard that statement, but certainly not the last. When i moved down to KL (Primary 6), to a totally different location, from a kampong to city, i heard the same remark, almost identical uttered by yet another teacher. More and more "strange and weird" revelations;

"diskaun 7% untuk bumiputra".

As a curious punk, naturally i asked my parents, why 7% discount and who are these bumiputras?

"Aiya, this one all for the Malays la, they buy house, gahmen will give them discount wan"

And more "accusations" surfaced saying Malays are lazy, backward and stupid. At that time, i begged to differ cuz most of my Malay classmates werent lazy, stupid or backward. I fail to notice it because these Malay classmaes of mine are alright. They treated me as an equal, these's no discrimination towards non Malays. But i thought the Indians were kinda poor cuz they didnt have lotsa flashy stationary, new shoes but they were smart man. For myself, i didnt have flashy stationaries or clean shoes cuz i was from the kampung. I guess most guys behave that way. No doubt abt it, Indian kids are very good at sports and English.

Long story short, our education system is FUCKED from day 1. I dont know how different it is today, but back then, our stupid teachers were indirectly teaching segregation. All those talk about national unity, living harmoniously are flawed examples on a made believed fantasy.

Post SPM, Malays all talk about going to local universities. Chinese, all about private colleges, Indians, all wanna go TAFE to be lawyers. I wasnt very interested in high school, most of the time i was AWOL, skipping skool with my mates. Anyway, i didnt do that bad in SPM, still managed 1st grade, where loads of Malays we SAPs. These Malays, they got scholarships for vocational skools, UITM, MARA while all the Chinese had to go private. Only a handful of the smartest Chinese kids actually pursued form 6 to go public. At that time, it also sturck me as weird, why Malays with SAP and shittier results than myself, can receive scholarships while had to go look into private colleges and pay so much.

Then i found out about NEP.

Oh well....i guess non Malays need to take things in stride.

Ok, fair enough. But then i found out the real reasons behind the May 13 incident.

In the May 10, 1969 general elections, the ruling Alliance coalition headed by the United Malays National Organization (UMNO) suffered a large setback in the polls. The largely Chinese opposition Democratic Action Party and Gerakan gained in the elections, and secured a police permit for a victory parade through a fixed route in Kuala Lumpur. However, the rowdy procession deviated from its route and headed through the Malay district of Kampung Baru, jeering at the inhabitants. Some demonstrators carried brooms, later alleged to symbolise the sweeping out of the Malays from Kuala Lumpur, while others chanted slogans about the "sinking" of the Alliance boat — the coalition's logo.

While the Gerakan party issued an apology the next day, UMNO announced a counter-procession, which would start from the Selangor Chief Minister Harun bin Idris' home in Jalan Raja Muda. Tunku Abdul Rahman would later call the retaliatory parade "inevitable, as otherwise the party members would be demoralised after the show of strength by the Opposition and the insults that had been thrown at them."

Shortly before the procession began, the gathering crowd was reportedly informed that Malays on their way to the procession had been attacked by Chinese in Setapak, several miles to the north. The angry protestors swiftly wreaked revenge by killing two passing Chinese motorcyclists, and the riot began. During the course of the riots, the loudspeakers of mosques were used to urge the rioters to continue in their actions.
The riot ignited the capital Kuala Lumpur and the surrounding state of Selangor — according to Time, spreading throughout the city in 45 minutes.

source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/May_13_Incident

Alas, in the spirit of "Malaysia Boleh"...non Malays will have to "take things in stride" for;

Malay Problem : National Agenda
Chinese Problem : Race card
Indian Problem : What problem?

I copied the above from a site Jiaoman gave me....

Dont get me wrong, im not inciting hatred between the races. Indeed a sensitive issue (like Jeeg) but how long are we going to not talk about this while sweeping this under the rug classified "sensitive issue"? This incident is also the cause for the NEP to be prolonged.

Iam all in agreement to help the needy, distribute wealth and equality to all races. It seems to me our wealth, contributed by our taxes regardless of race, whether youre a Malay, Chinese, Indian, Singh, Gurkha, Expats, are being used to irrelevant matters. Sending idiots to space to eat roti canai and drink teh tarik? Using tax money to promote that "Sports Excellence Centre" in England and the flawed MRR2 highway structure, these are just the few examples on how the gahmen is wasting the wealth we contributed.

Head to to LYN RWI...there are lots of issues...not to mention MAS bailout, Proton and the monopoly of TM Nut.

Take things in stride?

Regardless of our race, the middleclass wage earners and the hardcore poor are being cornered and fucked over by the upper class elites (yes, these ppl are the Malays, Chinese and Indian too and you should know who they are) while our Parliment is littered with chauvinistic bastards and the uneducated. Just go youtube and search for Malaysia and you'll see.

So, regardless of your race, if you pay tax, you are one way or the other involved. I sure as hell will register myself to vote...for the opposition? For the coalition? We'll see...

Friends in High Places

2007-05-20T08:32:00.000-07:00

Jee-go-loh aka Jeeg aka Sensi aka Death Row-Oh

Jeeg is well known amongst our social circle as a S.N.A.G. (Sensitive New Age Guy for those of you who are not in touch with your Cosmo side), little do people know, the secret double life he led... A life filled with violence and a string of gruesome murders.

Jeeg was recently busted for sexually assaulting the A&W Bear; but has since posted bail and has been spotted at the local Guardian store buying hair and dermatological products to keep his pretty boy image in check.

300 Directors Cut - watch out for the trailer to be released Summer 07'

2006-12-10T15:31:00.000-08:00

Everyone loves Vince. This is an undeniable fact. We take you back in time, ermmm...2001? How it is that this bunch of ppl, particularly the ex-SMDU/DJ community, you know la, ppl like our famous Jiaoman, Y5o, K-Mon and the OH-SO-FAMOUS-ANUS NIGEL got to know this fella? The fact is, it all started with Nigel....Me, Vince and Ny were from the same college, the college for bo-headz. Studying what? Sound engineering!!! (wtf...) Of all the darn things in the world, we have ppl studting I.T, business, graphic arts, you know la, all those normal subjects were normal ppl like to do (finance? ugh...) but we have to study sound engineering. This is the story of how Vince has becometh of what he is today...

Vince, at first sight, i didnt thought much of this guy cuz all the attention was centered on a certain little punk with gelled up red hair, earings, drives a black EG. Who else but Nigel Khoo Kah-Ee. Nevertheless, everyone (well, at least i did) thought this Nigel looks alot like one of those characther from the Hongkie movie, Young and Dangerous. I sorta detested this little punk. I told myself "stay away from this fella, he looks danger mouse"...but that perspective quickly dissolved into nothingness when i bumped into him at the famous Backroom (hmmm...those times, crazy times, still think about it at times....) and by his sidekick, our very own Jiaoman with large earholes and equally "dangerous" looking attitude. Wise guys said it too much, "dont judge a book by its cover"..true, with the help of a couple of "pink ladies" we became instant friends. You know how it is right? Anyway, years later, me & Ny spoke about this, we admitted, we hated each others' guts before the "Backroom Agenda". Anyway...back at college, we became instant mates. How did Vince got into the picture? Cant recall, too much THC induced memory loss quoting Vince, but me and Ny developed a daily routine. We would come to class stoned, attending lectures religiously while hitting a joint during breaks to keep it going. One time we were even caught by one of the lecturers while i was passing an unlit joint to Ny at the stairs. An instant query ensued "is that a joint?"...what else could we say? Rule 101..deny...from that day onwards, the guy who caught us knew we were on BO. Did we receive any discrimination or got reported to the boss? No..infact, we got quite close to the guy. I recalled in on of his lectures, he was talking about the dangers of drugs in the music, on how one drug leads to another, from BO, you gradually graduate to other substance. Indirectly he was kinda advising us dont go overboard la...ok ok, back to the other side of the story...

Vince didnt liked BO. Me and Ny, constantly gone. Our profanity with munchies were so vulgar, we would eat and eat and eat until we cant eat no more. You know how it is when you hang out with the holder of the "KEY TO INSANITY". We would never fail to invite Vince to smoke up and with each invite, it will be met with a negative reply. "no lah, dowan la, i kena before, i dont like it, makes you slow la, look at you drug addicts...etc etc....bla bla bla bla...until one day...he relented. It didnt take him too long tho, but something happened to Vince (i shall not share it here) caused him to accept our invitation. I was living very nearby to the college, often times, we would go back to my place to have a couple of hits to recharge before goin back to college for assignments and what-not. That is when Vince got "devirginalized" by the "BATU API" and "KEY TO INSANITY"... from that day onwards, there was no stopping for Vince. Anyway, we smoked up, got all stoned, went back to college, i was having a studio session in the 8 track room, as usual la, you're gone, and you "try" to get some work done. There i was, infront of the console, with my guitar, "trying" to record something, and i was playing this one riff (i can still remember how it goes) and Vince just cant stop laughing his ass off. The more i play that riff, the HARDER his laughter...shit, i was laughing my head off too, not that i find my riff funny, but cuz it was fun making him laugh so hard that his tears were coming out. He continued laughing on other trivial stuff until i finally got somewhere attempting to record something...then...there was silence...he passed out on the floor in the studio. Next thing i knew, the BOSS was standing next to me, abruptly entered the studio and he casually asked "what happened to Melvin?" after seeing his pasaut on the floor. " Ohh, nothing la, he had an overnight session la. He is very tired and he was helping me...bla bla..."you know la, common excuse.

I was accused of bringing this calamity to Vince. From that day onwards, Vince would come to my house, we would roll a joint and smoke up while walking to skool. It has been a daily ritual. Ny will always be FOREVER LATE to class. You know him ler, master of procrastination...haha...but there were times when Ny would be early (after the skool made a policy, latecomers will be barred from entering lectures) and upon us making and entry to the classroom, we could fuckin clearly see those bloodshot eyes while he rests his head against the wall. Same case here, Ny knew we already "loaded" our guns with a smirk on our faces, that " u KENA already huh" kinda look...three of us sitting right up in front of the classroom stoned outta our heads while waiting for the lunch to go eat our favourite PORK NOODLES...in all due respect, we did our assignments well, faithfully taking notes. For me, it was really fun as i have this memory buffer in my head whenever im gone, so whatever spoken in class, i have the ability to replicate that in writing, albeit 3 seconds delay...but most of the time looking back at my notes, i have no idea wtf i wrote. Ny would go on and on writing nonsense and he got caught drawing something reflecting a these words, " I WOULD LIKE SOME MILK FROM THE MILKMAN'S WIFE'S TITS".

For those do not know Vince, he is a steady fella. Damn steady...tarak hal punya. Always looking for the phresh stuff. Once we got RM70 of the good ol' phresh mangga we graduated from J's to the B...homemade bong with a plastic bottle, pen and cigarette box aluminium paper molded into a cone. Vince would never fail to make the best cone all the time. He is good with his hands...the toolman. For more information on this creature, you can check out his blog here. Me? I just like to BO BO BO BO BO and pasaut. But none can challenge the master...Mr Vince aka Mengapa Harus Cinta...why the name Vince? Ask Jiaoman la, its his doing. Cuz there's always twosidestoastory to everything. You fellas have a great day, in the name of BO...we shall thrive and survive this daily rat race into oblivion. Fuck you no time...adios...

James OH Stars in Initial D...w00t

2006-09-10T17:35:00.000-07:00

this is really priceless....

i have never noticed how "cool" our friend here looks, with the ciggy and his gaya-fied poses...maybe he didnt act it out, maybe its him at his best? anyway, there shud always be a prawn behind the stone, as he still looks like a molester...child molester that is, beware kids...dont take candy from this stranger. Dont hitch a ride with him...Yall heard of the recent incident this standard 6 female student ran away with a 31 year old man? Fuck man...that's some sick shit...i hope no one falls prey to such incident no more...

Jeegid, go get yourself some action my man...lest you turn gay... and its not a crime to be born with small eyes my friend, lest u suffer from inferiority complex...

But i like the way Jeegid defends himself...

Jeegidek: 10 cent face?wat 10 cent face?the wind was constantly blowing into my eyes leh...so i can't keep it open

YC: not laughing at the eyes but at the resemblance of the muka sepuluh sen...char tou

Jeegidek: wat so funny -_-' born with small eyes not a sin or a crime

eujin foong: INITIAL D WOAH! our dear fren...jeegid..is a star in initial D....pics from Phuket...artwork courtesy of !nterface Advertising..

On another note...

Had a conversation the other day with a certain fren, in regards to our mutual friend...the udang...the prawn behind the stone, the Jiaoman...what wuzzat about? JJ being gay after having a girlfriend...oh shit, if that was to happen...goddamn...how i wonder the gf would be feeling sial...i mean...JJ was kinda single for a long time u see...so we'd hassle him " JJ, go get urself a girl la...find a nice girl and be steady to avoid yourself from being gay. You know, your mom always see so many guys goin in and outta your room ( that was during the bo period la, when JJ kept a piece in his room, we'd go there, smoke up and pasaut...eat all the leftover food, best was the nuggets, JJ would put in 10 pieces into the the little toaster and we'd have munchies all nite long while we bo and do all sorts of silly shit, but nothing gay i assure you...pasaut til morning and then bo sumore and go eat breakfast/lunch/brunch...those were the days huh JJ?

Then he got himself a girl...but the fact is, what if he turned gay after getting a girlfren? Darn, that would really be sumthing huh? Had you had any gay friends before? JJ is quite feminine in some ways. Caught him cutting and POLISHING his nails one day...thats so female man...not nail polish la, u know, he'd cut his nails and then really spend time grinding the ends to a perfect immaculate shape...what do you call it?

Anyway...all im saying is,...jeegidek, get yourself a female companion, like niz loves to put it, get a FUCK BUDDY...and stop torturing your brother...everyday making love to your hand...brother also sien liao laaa...haha...

Terror strikes!

2006-09-04T06:30:00.000-07:00

Dear All,

Please pass this on to your friends as a notification that Osama is currently within Malaysia and has done a surgery to ensure that he fits in with the locals. Please call the authorities should you spot him. Your help is greatly needed to save the world.

James Oh

Too Much Drukksss Will Make You Look Cool!!!

2006-08-16T22:01:00.000-07:00

There's no denying, drugs are a way of life.

The Power of LOVE....

2006-04-13T16:07:00.000-07:00

They say people tell the truth when they are drunk, no? Exact words from the LoveMan... hah?

Jeegidek: me no understanding....i'm a NLM....NO LOVE MAN..

any ladies here need some lovin? catch the LOVEMAN at the VOGUE this Friday 14 April 2006, oh, by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYCE THE FAIRY!!!

No one would be forcing him to drink ( he'll do it himself, hahahaha) and in the famous words of Too Phat, " SPREAD LOVE"....oooo, look at that tongue from the phat lady, LOVEMAN makes an "O", ready to receive tongue penetration...LOVEMAN, i didnt know u were that adventurous...hahah...indeed, we all can see you are having LOTSA FUN!!! mmmm....

hate to burst your bubble mate, an image is definitely louder than you caps... henceforth....jeegidek aka the LOVEMAN....

thanks to nizzie babe for the graphical representation of the LOVEMAN. :p

Love is in the air

2006-03-03T19:50:00.000-08:00

Valentines day might be over but romance is still in the air when the legendary cruisy crooner Jiaoman takes the stage. Come and fall in awe of The jiaoman's elicits;experience the silky-smooth, sexy crooner's signature tunes like "Aduh Saleha," and recollections of a "Mengapa harus cinta" and "Getaran Jiwa", all clever renditions of Vince and the late P.Ramlee respectively.

Over the years, the Jiaoman has swept the sands of sanity of women-folk and queer-folk alike. Among the captured hearts, a high profile dictator under the alias of Nazi Fairy, explains it all as seen it the picture taken in his "Hören Sie zum reizvollen Stern" tour in Germany. A gifted singer, Jiaoman is also an accomplished songwriter whose lyrics capture the soul and essence of real-life experiences. So, ladies! What are you waiting for? Come fall in love with the epitome of the male specimen.

Disclamer: *NO QUEERS ALLOWED*

Drifting VS ponies

2006-02-04T18:26:00.000-08:00

Why is drifting COOL?

Drifting is the art of controlling a car while it's going sideways as the car slips perpendicular to the forward direction of the tires. It is an art because cars are engineered not to go sideways. Like surfing, drifting is an endeavor judged on style rather than speed. To achieve a drift, you take a light, rear wheel-drive car, push it beyond the limit of traction, then surf the unfolding physics, curve after curve. It ain't easy. A proper drift employs dozens of technical factors, and a good drift differs from a poor one as starkly as a Porsche from a Proton. At its most refined, a stylish drift is a thing of balance and beauty. The unspooling chaos approaches the line of a French curve or the spiral logic of a Mandelbrot fractal. Even the jiao man approves of it!

Why are ponies STUPID and LAME?

"Ponies are often said to be mean, untrustworthy or devious. The situation likely results from the individual pony's lack of proper training. Ponies trained by children, rather than by experienced horse trainers, usually turn out to be spoiled because children typically lack the skill to correct bad habits. The pony may learn to kick or bite when its desires are not met."
*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ponies

What are ponies compared to drifting?That's right!Absolutely nothing!The reason is that ponies are lame. They can't hold the steering wheel because they've got NO hands. They can't do a heel-to-toe because they've got NO feet. They can't change gears because they've got NO fingers. So what can ponies do best if they can't drift?

That's right!!Ponies can ride scooters*. They can ride along side the mat rempets and are entitled to take part in illegal kap chai races. Look at the helmet ala yellow colour. So rempet. So NOT cool!

*Abstracted from the words of Nizwani Shahar

Tungkoo...oooooooOOooo

2006-02-02T21:54:00.000-08:00

haha, chinese new year and what did tungkoo did? pasaut!!! like his owner ny and his unkle ben, pasaut most of the time...bad examples...

yeah yeah, time to gather more material on the JIAOMAN. But he has been making efforts to go to the gym....the Jackie Chan one ler...

While we compile more incriminating evidence ( some viddy perhaps? ugh...) on the jiao, here is a picture of tungkoo...immortalized on this immortal page dedicated to the jiao...so his owner can come in here and take a looky at em...until the return...of the space cowbois...inter-planetery...good vibe zone...

Ron Tay for CLEO's MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR

2006-01-19T13:53:00.000-08:00

Well well, lets have a breath of phresh air shall we? Instead of having our usual Lord Von Jiaoman, i thought it would be the right time to move the limelight to something else, or rather someone. I present to you....the electrifying...the sleek, the cool and hip bachelor of 2006...Mr. Ron Tay ( yay)

The title says it all...Nizzie babe...thanks for the contribution and support.

What is best in life????

2005-12-30T03:02:00.000-08:00

jiaoman's "balik kampung" edition

2005-11-04T13:46:00.000-08:00

The jiaoman loves to be in fashion, as seen in the previous posting. So during this festive season, the jiaoman decided to dress up in accordance with this special occassion. From the pic, the jiaoman is wearing a rare "Zakaria" baju melayu outfit from his "balik kampung in style" collection. The songkok and the shoes, courtesy of MOC. For the jiaoman, even to strike a pose, perfection is a must. Look at him. Only one word can describe the jiaoman, his attire and his pose;
SUBLIME

The Jiaoman would like to take this opportunity to convey a message during this festive season to all who are celebrating;

"SELAMAT HARI RAYA dan MAAF ZAHIR BATIN"

JIAOMAN FEELS......

2005-11-01T14:21:00.000-08:00

Did you all know Lawrence can actually play the guitar?

Ah ha, yall dont know huh? I tell you, he can play man. Yall know the song DONT CRY from Guns N Roses? Dont be fooled by Lawrence. He is a very humble person when it comes to displaying his skillz on instruments. Even now, you ask him about scratching, mahem, he is always very humble " I dont know anything" is alwasy his fav word.

Lawrence, CONTROL IS KEY!!!

Nowadays he is very busy with his love. I bet he has been serenading to his girl if he has a guitar. I bet he would be singing the GNR song to her

Seeds of the Jiaoman

2005-10-30T07:31:00.000-08:00

THOUGHT OF THE DAY
Ever wonder how the seeds of the great jiaoman look like under the microscope?

Street Wear

2005-10-28T23:25:00.000-07:00

Lawrence...the fashion icon...unlike some of us, fashion unconscious...

Just look at those shoes...hmmm...cool....

I like the second pic. Makes Lawrence look like a lord, a superstar. NO! A MEGASTAR!!! woot woot...

This is what he would call, the RANDOM SELECTION.

Lawrence Von Jiaoman

2005-10-28T06:41:00.000-07:00

Have one ever wondered or seen Lawrence in serious mood? Frankly, I can't recall seeing him in this mode. Lawrence is a cheerful, happy, sometimes crappy, and extremely sadistic at times. He totally adores toceng. With so many avenues to release his stress, how can one be stressed up and put on a serious sam expression? One could only imagine. I have always wondered to myself, imagining Lawrence, grown up adult, married and has kids. I wonder what sort of father he would be. Can you fathom that? I think he would be a darn funny dad, might even kena bully from his kids

Lawrence to kids
" Eh, eh, eh…you stop it right now arr. You want me to come over and slap you?"

Kids
" Hahahahahaha…. fuck you dad!"

Lawrence to kids
" Not cool kids. Watch your mouth"

Kids
* pouting furiously stretching their eyeballs trying to look at their lips*

Sigh, Lawrence "char lan tou".

But I guess its good. At least his wife would be taking care of the kids, discipline, spankings. I guess, Lawrence is like Hutch, wifey is Starsky. What a combination.Really, do take a moment and ponder, what its like for Lawrence to be a serious person.

THE ONE.........COOL HAND JIAOMAN

2005-10-27T16:07:00.000-07:00

COURTESY OF DESMOND MO...

this is a legendary picture. so notorious, so famous.

this image has travelled around the world, from Australia, to Hawaii and to the States...truly, the one and only...

JIAOMAN.

Oh betik!Oh my love!

2005-10-27T15:33:00.000-07:00

The secret is out. It seems our jiaoman the great one has skeletons in his closet; a deep and dark secret. He has yet to come to terms with his obsession with papayas while a familiar tune keeps playing in his head over and over again.

~BETIK BETIK TAK ADA TETEK~

All hail the jiaoman!

2005-10-26T20:16:00.000-07:00

This blog is a shrine dedicated to the great lawrence the JIAOMAN...all bow before his presence!Let his picture strike respect and joy to those who stumbles upon him.

Prawn Behind The Stone

2005-10-25T23:32:00.000-07:00

Anyone up for some prawn behind the stone?

LAWRENCE OF MOC aka THE JIAOMAN

2005-10-25T17:33:00.000-07:00

A NEW PANTUN DEDICATED TO THE OH SO FAMOUS JIAOMAN

dj area tempat popular,
semuanya ada di sini sane,
dakei, makan, mengacau bilau,
lawrence yg intro aku ke sana,

lawrence cakap nak pi makan,
dia kata pergi kum san,
aku tanya mana tuu,
dia cakap tunggu dulu. ( kimax)

bersama kah ee setiap hari,
mengisap dada yg cun cun,
suatu hari ternampak lawrence,
ianya rupanya member jugak,

bila kita mengisap bo,
muka stim mata mengecut,
lawrence suka jenaka raya,
ketawa mengilai terbahak bahak,

sungguhnya lawrence sudah terjebak,
sudah punyai buah hati,
tidak lagi dia mengisap dada,
karang isap buah dada,

mak engkao dan mak aku,
sudah lama berbulu,
namun lawrence seorang yg baik,
seperti babi di dalam hutan...

pantun ini utk si dia,
dia yg bernama LAWRENCE,
atau kita panggil JIAOMAN,
lebih dikenali sbg JAIDI.

JAIDI JAIDI oh JAIDI,
mengapa kita harun cinta.
kalau salah apa gunanya,
asalkan dapat, apa salahnya.

Lawrence The JIAOMAN

2005-10-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

Lawrence the JIAOMAN is a classic example of the modern male. He adores poems. Lemme give you a little taste of his creation.

Babi Buto Sial Anjing
Ikan dipantai suka dipancing
Lepas minum di semak dia mengencing
Makan api pilau rice di gunung sebat!

Will update with more of his quotes...

recently, i felt a dash of "hokkien" with his

"si beh steady"

hmm...i wondered where di he picked it up?

For Chee Kit

2005-10-17T00:24:00.000-07:00

damn, i registered this to hassle Chee Kit...